Relationship coaching & Restorative Dialogue:
at home and at work
Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.
~ Maya Angelou
Both of you make sense. That's where we start.
Not "both of you are right," and not "you'll have to meet in the middle" — but that underneath every stuck conversation, every recurring fight, every silence that's gone on too long, there are two people with real needs, doing their best with the tools they have. My work is to help you find each other again, and to hold the hurts, complexity, and nuance with compassion and curiosity.
I work with couples and poly folx, families, close friends, co-parents, and people in business partnership together. Some come to me in crisis. Some come because things are basically good and they want them to be great. Some come because they've had the same argument forty times and want to understand what it's actually about (hint: it’s not really about the dishes). All of you are welcome — including the parts of you that are furious, exhausted, or convinced this won't work.
I draw primarily from Internal Family Systems and Nonviolent Communication in my relationship work.
Internal Family Systems is a powerful, evidence-based approach to therapy developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz. IFS is quickly becoming known as a trusted and effective method for inner healing, and while the specific framework of IFS is unique, it’s essence can be found in wisdom traditions the world over. You can watch an intro video here, or learn more about IFS here.
Nonviolent Communication (besides being one of those things that the more you know about it, the harder it is to explain), is a communication and conflict resolution framework based on the principles of universal human needs, empathy, self-expression, and the power of making clear requests. NVC is a consciousness - a set of principles and practices - a way of looking at, listening to, and engaging with the world. It aims to support individuals and groups to transform inner and interpersonal conflict in order to build authentic connection, collaborate effectively, and develop solutions and systems that care for all. You can learn more about NVC here.
COUPLES & PARTNERSHIPS
Most couples don't come to me with a communication problem. They come with a both/and problem.
Part of you needs more closeness and part of them needs more space. You're ready to move forward and your beloved isn’t done being hurt. You want to be able to just be honest and get a little messy, and they want to keep things calm or not go there at all. When those tensions get framed as either/or, someone has to lose — so you fight about who's right, or one of you quietly folds, and the real thing never gets addressed.
Together we slow the whole thing down. We find what each of you is protecting and what each of you is longing for. We practice new moves in real time, with me right there to catch the moment it goes off the rails and help you find your way back. And we build something you can use the next time that conversation comes up when I'm not in the room.
AT WORK & IN GROUPS
Relationship difficulty doesn't stay home. Co-founders, collaborators, board members, and long-time colleagues get tangled in the same dynamics — with the added complexity of power, money, role, and everyone's livelihood on the line.
I bring years of facilitating high-stakes, multi-stakeholder conversations to this work, alongside the relational depth of IFS and NVC. Whether it's two partners who can't get unstuck or a team that's been avoiding the real conversation, I'll help you address what's actually happening (rather than the polite version of it), and you help find a way forward that works for everyone.
RESTORATIVE DIALOGUE
Sometimes what's needed isn't ongoing coaching but a structured process to address a specific rupture — a betrayal, a harm, a conflict that's calcified, a conversation you've been circling for years.
Restorative dialogue is a carefully held, well-prepared process for exactly that. We meet separately first, so each person is resourced and clear about what they need from the conversation before it happens. Then we come together with real structure: agreements about how we'll be with each other, space for impact to be named and genuinely heard, and attention to what repair would actually look like — not a performance of forgiveness, but something true.
This work can be done with couples, family members, friends, colleagues, or anyone carrying something unfinished between them. It is not about deciding who was wrong. It's about listening deeply, sharing honestly, and creating enough understanding on both sides to choose, together, what comes next.
Through relationship coaching & restorative dialogue, I'll support you to:
· hear the needs underneath each other's hardest words
· say the true thing without attacking or abandoning yourself
· move from blame and defensiveness toward genuine curiosity
· recognize the protective parts and old wounds that get activated between you
· repair after rupture, instead of avoiding it or rehashing it forever
· hold two realities at once — yours and theirs — without either one canceling the other
· make clear, doable requests rather than hoping to be understood
· tend to differences in power, privilege, and culture inside your relationship
· name and renegotiate your agreements as your lives change
· find your way back to connection and collaboration, again and again
My relationship coaching and restorative dialogue work is inspired by:
Internal Family Systems (Parts Work)
Nonviolent Communication
The Right Use of Power Institute
Restorative Justice
Mediation
Process Work
Interpersonal Neurobiology
Attachment Theory
Mindfulness Practices
Contact me for a free 30-minute consultation to see if we’re a good match!
